Strauss said, "We were really pleased with the way that India's captain MS Dhoni allowed Ian Bell to keep batting after he was out by accident, and in the same way, in the interest of the spirit of cricket, we felt that it was the right thing to do to let India win the 3rd test to allow them back into the series, as, just like how Bell didn't mean to be out, India hadn't meant to lose the first 2 tests."

 

Even more shockingly, Strauss says that they have had a change of heart in relation to Sachin Tendulkar. Strauss said, "We heard that it was Sachin Tendulkar who was the first one to suggest to Dhoni that Bell should be reprieved and as such we felt bad about not letting Tendulkar get his 100th international century, so in the next test we promise not to get him out until he has at least scored his century."

 

Strauss added that they had many more plans to reward India's players. "We have decided to let Virender Sehwag break Brian Lara's test record score of 400, as we feel that Sehwag is a better player. Indeed, after a team meeting we have decided to let Sehwag also break Lara's first class record of 501. Sehwag gets a lot of bad press, suggesting that he is just a basher but, as proven by the ICC's online poll, which gave Sehwag the opener position in the all-time test XI, Sehwag is really a very good player and deserves the record."

 

Strauss has also added that they have plans to reward Zaheer Khan too. "We feel that a large part of the reason that India have lost the first two tests is the absence of Zaheer Khan, especially in the first test when he broke down and they were left with just 3 bowlers for most of the match. To reward Zaheer, and to say sorry for rubbing their noses in it, we have decided to give Zaheer Jim Laker's record of 19 wickets in a test match, and to let Zaheer Khan get all 20."

 

That isn't the end of it, according to Strauss. "Stuart Broad felt bad about so many dodgy decisions going England's way and as such he thought it would be cute to let Zaheer Khan get two hat-tricks, one in each innings, and we agreed to let them be 6 balls in a row, 3 to end the first innings and 3 to start the second innings, to make it a quadruple hat-trick of 6 wickets in 6 balls, and Zaheer Khan would be the first bowler to do so."

 

In explaining the whole scenario, Strauss said, "As a unit, we feel that we have been overly ruthless and feel that we have in a sense cheated throughout the series, by doing such things as taking advantage of poor umpiring, of Zaheer Khan getting injured, of India having only 8 fit players, and of Harbhajan Singh being in the Indian team. After seeing what MS Dhoni did, we felt that this was the right thing to do."

 

Strauss stopped short of conceding the series, though, by concluding, "After this test, it is game on. We don't intend to concede the entire series, just this test. We felt that it was the least we could do after MS Dhoni showed such great spirit. It is the least that we can do, to give Indian fans something to cheer about."

 

3rd test scorecard: Virender Sehwag 502* (400 balls), Gautam Gambhir 120* (200 balls) - retired, Sachin Tendulkar 100* (120 balls). India 0/800 declared. England 95 all out and 98 all out. Zaheer Khan 10/25 and 10/38 with two hat-tricks, one in each innings. India win by an innings and 607 runs in 3 days.

 

By : Adrian Meredith

 

NOTE by the editor : Looks like Adrian has not taken the Bell - Dhoni incident lightly and he came with this master piece.